There is a light at the end of the tunnel....:-)

No matter what situations life throws at you...
no matter how long and treacherous your journey may seem...
Remember, there is a light at the end of the tunnel!



You're laughing aren't you?
that's good .......my job here is done!
Have a great day..

Hold My Hand

Here is a short story with a beautiful message...
นี่คื่อเรื่องสั้นที่ส่งพร้อมกับข้อความที่สวยงาม

Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.
มีพ่อลูกคู่นึงกำลังจะข้ามสะพาน

The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter,
คุณพ่อค่อนข้างกลัวเล็กๆ เลยบอกลูกสาวตัวน้อยของเขาว่า

'Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river.'
ลูกรักจ๊ะ จับมือพ่อไว้สิ หนูจะได้ไม่ตกลงไปในแม่น้ำ

The little girl said, 'No, Dad. You hold my hand.'
เด็กน้อยกล่าวว่า "ไม่ค่ะพ่อ พ่อหน่ะแหละจับมือหนู"

'What's the difference?' Asked the puzzled father.
."มันต่างกันยังไงจ๊ะลูก" พ่อถามด้วยความสงสัย

'There's a big difference,' replied the little girl.
"มันต่างกันมากเลยค่ะพ่อ" เด็กน้อยกล่าว

'If I hold your hand and something happens to me,
"ถ้าหนูจับมือพ่อ แล้วมีอะไรเกิดขึ้นกับหนู,
chances are that I may let your hand go.
มันมีโอกาสที่หนูจะปล่อยมือพ่อ

But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens,
แต่ถ้าพ่อจับมือหนู หนูรู้ว่าไม่ว่าอะไรจะเกิดขึ้น
you will never let my hand go.'
พ่อไม่มีวันปล่อยมือหนูแน่นอน"


In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.
ในทุกความสัมพันธ์ สิ่งสำคัญของความเชื่อมั่น ไว้ใจ ไม่ใช่อยู่ที่สาระของมัน แต่เป็นความรู้สึกกับมัน

So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to
hold yours... เพราะฉะนั้น จงจับมือคนที่รักคุณ ดีกว่าที่จะหวังให้เค้าจับมือคุณ

This message is too short......but carries a lot of Feelings.
ข้อความนี้สั้นเกินไป แต่แฝงไว้ด้วยความรู้สึกมากมาย

Apples & Wine

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.......
So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
Share this with other women who are good apples, even those who have already been picked!
And... Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Women Are Like Apples
by James Ebb Huggins, Jr.

Women are like apples - decorating an apple tree.
The sweeter ones are at the top - for all the men to see.
Some of the men fear reaching - for the riper ones at the top,
Fearing they might fall to the ground - with a gigantic flop.
They often search among less sweeter ones - scattered all around,
Hoping to find a compatible mate - laying on the ground.

The apples on the ground - are as happy as can be,
Having all the men - flurrying around for them to see.
The sweeter ones at the top - think that something is wrong,
Not having men strutting about - with a mating song.
So they improvise a way to stand out - to encourage the right one's embraces,
By wearing tight fitting jeans - and painting up their faces.
So when it's apple picking time - and sweet apples are found high and low
Cherish the apple fate has made for you - and by God's Grace may your love glow.

Today's lesson

Daddy's car in the woods?

Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.

Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. 'Mummy, I was at the playground

and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane...'

At this point Mummy cut him off and said, 'Johnny, this is such an interesting story, lets save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight.'

At the dinner table that evening, Mummy asked little Johnny to tell his story Johnny started his story, 'I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mummy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was away on the rigs.'

Mummy fainted!

Moral: Sometimes you need to just shut the f##k up and listen to the whole story before you interrupt!
hahaha:-)

Different ways of looking at things

DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS

(or the uncertainty of the English language)



Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, Did you?

"Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----



A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did my intelligence come from?"

The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----



"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,"

"That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------



A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all."

"Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids".

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----



An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you".

The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----



Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder

1. The DNA all matches.

2. There are no dental records.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----



A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?"

The agent replies, "Just a minute.."

"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----



Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

"How was he killed?" asked one detective.

"With a golf gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun?!

What is a golf gun?" "I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----



Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."

Joe: "Really?"

Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----



A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.

"I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four-letter- word the doctor used in surgery," he answered.

"What did he say," asked the nurse.

"OOPS"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----



While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so sought my husband's advice.

"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"

"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."

He's still in intensive care

Health - Important Tips

Answer the phone by LEFT ear.

Do not drink coffee TWICE a day.

Do not take pills with COLD water.

Do not have HUGE meals after 5 pm.

Reduce the amount of OILY food you consume.

Drink more WATER in the morning, less at night.

Keep your distance from hand phone CHARGERS.

Do not use headphones/earphone for LONG period of time.

Best sleeping time is from 10 pm at night to 6 am in the morning.

Do not lie down immediately after taking medicine before sleeping.

When battery is down to the LAST grid/bar, do not answer the phone as the radiation is 1000 times.

O lny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.

cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,

it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if
you can raed tihs psas it on !!



Psas Ti ON !

Now I know why spelling seems not to be so important at school.

More Brain Stuff . . . From Cambridge University.

Tengefilm som sammenligner europeiske folk med asiatiske folk!(ภาพการ์ตูนสัญลักษณ์ แสดงความแตกต่างระหว่าง คนยุโรป กับ คนเอเซีย)

เด็กกับผู้ใหญ่
คนยุโรป เสมอภาคจ้า
คนเอเซีย ต้องควบคุมมันไว้

Barn og Voksen
Europeiske folk: Barna og voksne er like viktige!
Asiatiske folk: Barna har ikke lov til å gjøre hva de vil,for voksne er redde for at de kommer til å gjøre noe galt!




ตอนนี้กำลังนิยมอะไรกันอยู่นะ
คนยุโรป กำลังนิยมความเป็นเอเซียอยู่
คนเอเซีย กำลังนิยมความเป็นยุโรปอยู่
Hva er det som er mest populær nå?
Europeiske folk er interessert i asiatiske ting for eksempel kulturer,tradisjoner,mat osv.
Asiatiske folk er opptatt av europeiske ting!




ระดับความดังของเสียง ในภัตตาคาร...
Hvor mye bråk er det på en restuarant?
Kan dere være så snille å slutte å bråke?




นิยามแห่งความงาม
คนยุโรป ผิวสีแทนสิ สวยสุดๆ
คนเอเซีย ต้องขาวเข้าไว้ ขาวเข้าไว้
Definisjon av vakker!
Europeiske folk mener at brun hud er vakker.
Asiatiske folk mener "jo lysere,jo bedre"



การจัดการกับปัญหา
คนยุโรป พุ่งเข้าชนปัญหาไปเลย
คนเอเซีย ขอเลี่ยงปัญหาดีกว่านะ
Hvordan takler man problemer?
Europeiske folk:takler problemene direkte!
Asiatiske folk:tør ikke å takle problemene direkte!




การคมนาคม
คนยุโรป เปลี่ยนจากขับรถ มาปั่นจักรยานดีกว่า
คนเอเซีย เลิกปั่นจักรยาน มาขับรถกันดีกว่า
Transport
Europeiske folk:velger å sykle i steden for å kjøre.
Asiatiske folk:slutte å sykle,men de begynner å kjøre.




วิถีชีวิตยามแก่ชรา
คนยุโรป โดดเดี่ยว อยู่กับหมา
คนเอเซีย อบอุ่น อยู่กับหลาน
De gamle i europeike land lever gjerne alene eller med et kjæledyr som for eksempel en hund eller en katt.
De gamle i asiatiske land lever gjerne sammen med sin egen familie.Jo større familie,jo bedre!



เจ้านายกับลูกน้อง
คนยุโรป เหนือกว่าลูกน้องนิดหน่อย
คนเอเซีย อำนาจล้นฟ้า ข่มกันสุดเดช
Forskjell på sjef og ansatt
Det er ikke stor forskjell på europeiske sjefer og ansatte,men det er stor forskjell på asiatiske sjefer og ansatte.



การเข้าคิว
Køkultur!



ความมั่นใจในตัวเอง
คนยุโรป สุดๆ
คนเอเซีย .........
Selvtillit(self-confidence)
Europeiske folk:100%(Ekstremt)
Asiatiske folk:.....



บรรยากาศถนนในเมือง วันหยุด
Trafikken på fridager!



บรรยากาศงานเลี้ยง
คนยุโรป กระจาย พวกใครพวกมัน
คนเอเซีย เอ้า ล้อมวง ล้อมวง
På fest!
Europeiske folk foretrekker å sitte og prate bare med folk som de kjenner fra før,men asiatiske folk vil gjerne bli kjent med alle som er til stedet.Jo flere,jo bedre:-)




การท่องเที่ยว
คนยุโรป บันทึกไว้ในความทรงจำ
คนเอเซีย บันทึกด้วยกล้องสิจ้ะ
Resier
Europeiske folk har minner i hodet.
Asiatiske folk liker å ta masse bilder når de reiser,for de vil huske alle steder de har vært.



การแสดงความคิดเห็น
คนยุโรป ชอบแสดงความเห็นแบบตรงๆ
คนเอเซีย ชอบแสดงความเห็นแบบอ้อมๆ
gruppediskusjon
Europeiske folk:viser sin mening på direkte måte.Don't beat around the bush.Kom til saken!
Asiatiske folk:tør ikke å si sin mening på direkte måte,for de vil gjerne unngå konflikt.




วิถีชีวิต
คนยุโรป ตัวคนเดียว ตัวใครตัวมัน
คนเอเซีย ไปกันหมดทั้งก๊กนี่แหละ
Livstil
Europeiske folk:vil gjerne klare seg selv.Noen ganger vil de gjerne ha et privatliv.
Asiatiske folk:liker ikke å være alene.Jo flere,jo bedre!



ความตรงต่อเวลา
คนยุโรป ตรงเป๊ะๆ
คนเอเซีย ขอสายหน่อยน่า (เอ...ชักจะไม่หน่อยแล้วล่ะ)
Presis
Europeiske folk:er nøye med å komme presis.
Asiatiske folk:kommer når de kommer.De er ikke veldig nøye med å komme presis.


การสื่อสาร
คนยุโรป รู้กันเฉพาะกลุ่มใครกลุ่มมัน
คนเอเซีย รู้กันทั้งซอย รู้กันทั้งตำบล
Kommunikasjon eller sladder:-)
Europeiske folk:kommunikasjon går gjennom bare kjentfolk.Mindre sladder.
Asiatiske folk:kommunikasjon går fra person til person,og til slutt får alle vite hva som skjer.Man er ikke alene:-) og mye sladder hvis man har gjort noe galt.



การแสดงอารมณ์โกรธ ไม่พอใจ
Ansiktsuttrykk når man er sint eller misfornøyd?

From my friend,Taweerut.

Oversatt av Tom Yum Koong:-)

A visual brain teaser

Look at the picture, THEN check the caption that follows!

You saw a couple in an intimate pose, right?
Interestingly, research has shown that young children cannot identify
the intimate couple because they do not have prior memory associated with such a scenario.
They see nine dolphins in the picture!
So, I guess we've already proven you're not a young innocent child.
If it's hard for you to find the dolphins within 6 seconds, your mind is SO corrupted that YOU probably need help!
OK, here's help:
Look at the space between her right arm and her head, the tail is on her neck, follow it up.
Look at her left hip, follow the shaded part down, it's another one, and on his shoulder...

OH, SURE, you see them NOW!!!


From my friend!

PS:Yes,I saw a couple in an intimate pose:-),so I'm not a child anymore:-)

Norske uttrykk som jeg har hørt!

- Kjærlighet gjør blind!

-Ta seg en lur = take a nap

-Ligge/stå på lur («gjemme seg, for så å plutselig angripe»)= lie in wait ("hide to attack in surprise")


- Kjærlighet ved første blikk = love at first sight
( Do you believe in love at first sight? yes,I do:-) )

- Blind høne finner også korn («også uvitende personer kan noen ganger ha rett»)= even an ignorant person can sometimes get things right.

- Krype til køys («gå og legge seg») = turn in ("go to bed")

-Vær så snill!= please!

-Det er dumt at du ikke kan komme. = It's a pity you can't come.


-Er du ikke (riktig) klok («er du gal?»)= are you out of your senses ("are you crazy")?



-Røde roser er et uttrykk for kjærlighet = Red roses expresses love

-Svetter som en gris!=Svetter mye!

-Du kommer til å sove som en stein.=sover dypt!

-over stokk og stein («ute av kontroll») = over stock and stone

-Du er sta som et esel(«svært sta») = stubborn as a mule ("very obstinate")

-Du er snill som et lam!(«svært snill») = meek as a lamb ("very meek")

-Trøtt som en dupp!=Very trøtt!
<>
<< Uttrykket «Trøtt som en dupp» skjønner jeg veldig godt, for det finnes ikke noe mer søvndyssende enn å se duppen flyte opp og ned i takt med bølgene i vannet når man fisker. Blir faktisk litt søvnig bare av å tenke på det,by Audun Wangen>>

-Hun er blakk som en kirkerotte! << lommen er helt tom >>

-Eget kjøtt og blod

-En fulg i hånda er bedre enn ti på taket

-ta i et ekstra tak («arbeide mer enn vanlig») = make an extra effort

-stange hodet i taket («ikke komme seg noen vei») = knock one's
head against the roof, reach the limit

-De er dumme som et brød!(Hvor må man være dum som et brød??Er brød dumt???hehehe

-Ta brødet ut av munnen på noen («ta bort noens mulighet til å forsørge seg selv»)
=take the bread out of somebody's mouth ("deprive somebody of his livelihood")

-Smuler er også brød («også det som synes lite, kan ha verdi»)= half a loaf is better than no bread

Hva gjorde du i forigårs?

Hva gjorde jeg i forigårs?Det var ikke så mye å skrive her,for jeg gjorde ingen spesielt,men jeg skal fortelle litt hva jeg gjorde på den dagen.
I forigårs stod jeg opp circa klokka halv sju.Da var jeg skikkelig trøtt,for jeg la meg alltid altfor sent.Etter at jeg hadde stått opp,gikk jeg rett fram til badet,for jeg pleide å bade før jeg gikk på skolen.Jeg måtte ta meg en varm dusj før jeg kunne gjøre noe mer.Det hjelper mye å bade eller dusje,for man føler seg frisk.Da jeg var ferdig med dusjen,var klokka nesten sju.Tiden fløy,syntes jeg.Da innså jeg at jeg hadde dårlig tid,så jeg måtte skynde meg.Hvis ikke,kom jeg sent på skolen.Det kunne jeg ikke akseptere,for jeg likte best å komme på skolen før læreren gikk inn i klassen.Jeg har vært mattelærer i hjemlandet mitt i flere år,så jeg visste nok hvordan man føler seg når elevene kom så sent.
Etter at jeg hadde spist frokost,laget jeg mattpakke,for jeg ville ha Thai mat til lunsj.På skolen kan vi kjøpe brød,brus,salat og kaffe på kantina,men jeg spiste noen brødskiver til frokost,så jeg gadd ikke å ha brød til lunsj.Da foretrakk jeg bare ris eller Thai rett.Klokka var litt over åtte da jeg dro hjemmefra.Jeg tok t-bane fra Rødtvet stasjonen og gikk av på Stovner stasjonen.Fra Stovner til skolen tar vanligvis circa 15 minutter å gå,men den morgenen hadde jeg ikke så mye tid,så jeg tok bussen i steden for å gå.Man kan ta buss nummer 65 fra Stovner,men det tar ganske lang tid,så jeg tok buss nummer 67,for jeg kunne gå av på første bussholdeplassen,og dessuten tok det bare 3 minutter.Da jeg kom på skolen,hadde jeg noen minutter igjen før skolen begynte,så jeg gikk rundt for å prate og hilse på noen venner som går i andre klasser.Jeg var på skolen i fire timer den dagen.Klokka var bare to da jeg var ferdig på skolem,så jeg bestemte meg at jeg ville gå fra skolen til Stovner senter.Det er fint å gå når sola skinner,synes jeg.Og det var ganske fint vær den dagen,så jeg spaserte.På hjemveien stakk jeg innon i en innvandrebutikk som ikke ligger så lang fra hjemmet mitt.Der kjøpte jeg noen grønnsaker og litt kjøtt,for jeg skulle lage Thai suppe til middag.Denne suppen laget jeg ofte da jeg bodde i Thailand,for det var lett å skaffe seg grønnsaker og urter i hjemlandet mitt,men noen ganger kunne jeg ikke finne noen urter eller krydder her,men denne ganger hadde jeg alt som jeg trengte.
Klokka var snart seks da mannen min kom hjem.Jeg dekket på bordet mens han dusjet.Da han var ferdig,spiste vi middag.Det var den beste suppen jeg noen gang har spist.Etter middag gjorde jeg hjemmelekser og leste litt.Jeg liker å lese og se gjennom hva jeg har lært fra skolen.Hvis jeg finner noe som jeg er usikker på,kan jeg stille spørsmål når jeg er på skolen.Klokka var snart elleve,så jeg måtte gå til sengs,for dagen etter hadde jeg en stor prøve på skolen.Det grudde jeg meg til.

By Tom Yum Koong

Husbands will be husbands!!!

Husbands are husbands ...


A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.

'What was that for?' the man asked.

The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'.

The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on'

The wife apologized and went on with the housework.

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.

Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.

Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'

Karma

One.Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you', mean it.

FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling..

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN! .. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone

The Priest‏

Hei,jeg fikk en morsom vits fra venninna mi og syntes at dette var en kjempemorsom fortelling som jeg syntes at jeg måtte dele med dere.
Ha det gøy!
Klem,Tom Yum Koong:-)

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and

noticed he had his collar on backwards.


The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.


The man, who was a priest, said "I am a Father."


The little boy replied "My Dad doesn't wear his collar like that."


The priest looked up from his book and answered "I am the Father of

many."

The boy said "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he

doesn't wear his collar that way"


The priest, getting impatient, said "I am the Father of hundreds" and

went back to reading his book.



The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said,



"Maybe you should use a condom and wear your pants backwards instead of

your collar".......!!

Barn av regnbuen(My Rainbow Race)

En himmel full av stjerner.
Blått hav så langt du ser.
En jord der blomster gror.
Kan du ønske mer?
Sammen skal vi leve.
Hver søster og hver bror.
Små barn av regnbuen
og en frodig jord.

Noen tror det ikke nytter.
Noen kaster tiden bort med prat.
Noen tror visst vi kan leve av
plast og syntetisk mat.
Og noen stjeler fra de unge
som blir sendt ut for å slåss.
Noen stjeler fra de mange
som kommer etter oss.

En himmel full av...

Men si det til alle barna!
Si det til hver far og mor:
Dette er vår siste sjanse
ti å dele et håp og en jord.

En himmel full av...

Tekst:Lillebjørn Nilsen
Musikk:Pete Seeger
Air Music Scandinavia,AB

เรียบง่ายแต่กินใจ‏

When I Say I'm Broke - I'm Broke.

A lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be
confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
"Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners . "

"Go away!" said the lady. "I'm broke and haven't got any money!" and she proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.

"Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."

The lady stepped back and said, "Well honey let me get you a fork, 'cause they cut off my electricity this morning."

FBI test - mothers, make sure your sons are clear on the moral‏

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews & testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men & a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door & handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair... Kill her!!' The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife & go home.'

The second man was given the same instructions, took the gun & went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. He came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife home.'

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was told to kill her husband. She took the gun & went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly & there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.

'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. 'I had to beat him to death with the chair.'
MORAL:
Women are crazy. Don't mess with them.

From Sarai:-)

ALWAYS LOOK AT THE BRIGHTER SIDE OF THINGS.....

HUMAN BEINGS ARE SUCH SMALL CREATURES, AREN'T THEY?

SO DON'T BE TOO WORRIED ABOUT EVERYTHING,

TREASURE EVERY MOMENT, DO WHAT YOU WISH TO DO.....

BROADEN YOUR VIEW, BROADEN YOUR MIND,

DON'T WORRY TOO MUCH ABOUT THINGS THAT ARE BOTHERING YOU,

DO TREASURE YOUR LOVE, LIVE SAFELY AND PEACEFULLY,

ALWAYS BE HAPPY TO WELCOME THE COMING OF THE NEW DAY....... ENJOY THE SUNSHINE ..

ALWAYS LOOK AT THE BRIGHTER SIDE OF THINGS.....

GLASSWING BUTTERFLY‏

The Glasswing Butterfly, Lives in South America

A butterfly with transparent wings is rare and beautiful.
As delicate as finely blown glass, the presence of this rare tropical gem

is used by rain forest ecologists as an indication of high habitat quality

and its demise alerts them of ecological change.




Rivaling the refined beauty of a stained glass window, the translucent

wings of the Glasswing butterfly shimmer in the sunlight like polished

panes of turquoise, orange, green, and red.

All things beautiful do not have to be full of color to be noticed; in life that
Which is unnoticed has the most power.




From Internet