"WARNING"

16. Desember
Hei….!

Jeg tror jeg må komme med en liten "WARNING" til dere som skal nedover...

Det har i de siste månedene blitt masser av små skjeløyde søte jenter som kommer smilende bort til deg på gaten eller i barene.
De spør om du kan svare på et spørreskjema hvor de lurer på om du liker deg, hvor du bor, romnummer osv…Og du kan vinne forskjellige "priser", gratis ferie til Singapore, luxushotell i Thailand, champagne…fristende ..ikke sant ???

MEN, og atter MEN …. ALLE vinner…gjentar.. ALLE!! De ringer deg opp på hotellet ditt morra’n etter da du ligger der med hue i fatle og ikke skjønner hvilket land du er i……"GRATULERER SIR" du har vunnet førsteprisen!!!!! Vi henter deg på hotellet om en halvtime, sier de. GRRRR….og så kjører de deg ut til Jomtien beach og setter livet på spill for og selge deg en leilighet, eller ikke det engang, for byggingen er ikke engang påbegynt ! Dette er med andre ord "TIMESHARE" som de har holdt på med i Spania i alle år. OG premien…ptrrrrr…GLEM DET…svindel fra ende til annen.

Det er MANGE Nordmenn som har gått på dette i det siste…og ALLE angrer seg bittert og lurer på hvorfor jeg ikke har advart dem mot slikt…. men nå har jeg herved advart dere alle…OK!!???

Hvis dere angrer, taper dere "depositum" som er på mange tusen Kroner.

Men ellers er Pattaya og Thailand fremdeles utrolig trygt og flott for turister hvis man bruker sunt folkevett…og ikke legger seg til og sove på stranden om natta, med 1 1/2 kg gull rundt nakken og slikt…

Sees snart…
Erik
Fra Erik : Les mer her : http://www.scandibar.com/erik-1999.htm

Careful plans?

Pregnant Italian

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.

One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a
large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back.
He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
'Honey', she said, 'you received a very strange post card today'.
'Oh, really? Let me see...', he said.
The wife gave it to him and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written:

'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.

Two with meatballs, one without.
Send extra sauce!

PS:I got this mail from my friend.It's so funny!

Kutt ut sukker i barnemat!

Gode oppskrifter på mat for små barn
Mange barn får i seg for mye sukker. For mye sukker i kostholdet er en viktig årsak til overvekt. Derfor bør dere ikke venne barnet til smaken av for mye sukker, men la det i stedet utvikle et naturlig forhold til sunn og god mat. Små barn fortjener også gode smaksopplevelser!

Fra Libero Klubben


ตำราอาหารที่ดีสำหรับเด็กเล็ก

เด็กจำนวนมากบริโภคน้ำตาลเข้าไปมาก อุปนิสัยการบริโภคอาหารที่มีปริมาณน้ำตาลมากเป็นสาเหตุสำคัญที่นำไปสู่การเป็นโรคอ้วนหรือน้ำหนักเกินมาตรฐาน ดังนั้นพวกคุณควรระมัดระวังไม่ให้เด็กเคยชินกับการบริโภคน้ำตาลในปริมาณที่มาก แต่ให้พวกเขามีประสบการณ์หรือเคยชินกับการบริโภคอาหารที่ดีและมีประโยชน์ เด็กเล็กควรที่จะได้รับประสบการณ์กับการลิ้มรสอาหารที่ดี

ข้อมูลจาก Libero Klubben แปลโดย Tom Yum Koong


Mat er ikke bare noe vi spiser, men også noe vi nyter. Dette vet vi som er voksne, men lar vi de små ta del i denne opplevelsen?

De minste fortjener også gode smaksopplevelser! Dersom du tar deg tid til å lage spedbarnsmaten selv, investerer du i ikke bare i barnets helse, men barnet vil også lære seg god matkultur som det vil nyte godt av hele livet.

Med litt tilretteleggelse fra deg som mamma eller pappa, kan kjøkkenet raskt bli favorittlekeplass nr. 1. God fornøyelse og kos dere på kjøkkenet!

Fra barnemat.kom

อาหารไม่ใช่อะไรที่เราสักแต่ว่าจะกินเข้าไป แต่มันควรจะเป็นอะไรที่ทำให้เรามีความเพลิดเพลินหรือพอใจ สิ่งนี้เป็นที่เข้าใจกันดีในหมู่ของผู้ใหญ่ ดั้งนั้นเราควรที่จะให้ลูกๆ ของเราได้ลิ้มรสหรือสัมผัสกับปรากฎการณ์ตรงส่วนนี้ด้วย

เด็กตัวน้อยๆ ของเรา ควรที่จะได้รับหรือมีประสบการณ์การลิ้มรสอาหารที่ดีด้วย ดังนั้น มันจะเป็นสิ่งที่ดี ถ้าคุณได้ให้เวลาและความสำคัญกับการปรุงอาหารให้กับลูกๆ ของคุณ มันไม่ได้เป็นการลงทุนที่คุ้มค่าเฉพาะกับสุขภาพที่ดีของลูกคุณเท่านั้น แต่มันจะเป็นการเสริมสร้างประสบการณ์ในการปรุงหรือการบริโภคอาหารที่ดีให้กับลูกๆ ของพวกคุณ ต่อไปในวันข้างหน้าอีกด้วย

ด้วยการเอาใจใส่ ประกอบกับการวางแผนเพียงเล็กน้อยของพวกคุณ มันสามารถทำให้ห้องครัวกลายเป็นสถานที่เล่น ที่ฮือฮาที่สุดของเจ้าตัวน้อยๆ เราหวังว่าคุณและลูกๆ ของพวกคุณ คงจะมีความสุข สนุกสนาน กับการทำอาหารร่วมกัน

Good luck and enjoy yourself in the kitchen!

แปลโดย Tom Yum Koong

Mental Feng Shui (this is great)

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.

FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly.. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN! .. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN.. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone..

Når kan barnet spise vanlig mat?

EN BRA START
Man pleier å legge merke til når barnet er klart for å få smaksporsjoner. Barnet strekker seg etter vanlig mat eller følger gaffelen med blikket, når du tar den fra tallerkenen til munnen. Barneleger anbefaler at man begynner med smaksporsjoner ved cirka fire til seks måneders alder, når barnet har lært seg å både suge og svelge. Andre tegn på at barnet er modent for å begynne med smaksporsjoner er:

Når barnet lager smattelyder når det ser andre mennesker spise.
Når barnet fortsatt er sultent etter å ha spist en stor mengde brystmelk eller morsmelkserstatning.
Når barnet ikke dytter vekk skjeen med tungen når du prøver å mate.
Når barnet beveger på kjevene når du mater, i stedet for å prøve å suge på maten.
Når barnet kan holde hodet oppe uten hjelp.

การเริ่มต้นที่ดี

โดยปกติทั่วๆไป เราจะสังเกตได้เองว่าถึงเวลาหรือยังที่เราควรจะให้อาหารเสริมแก่ทารก โดยเราอาจจะสังเกตได้จากพฤติกรรมง่ายๆของทารก เช่น ทารกเริ่มขยับตัว แสดงอาการดีดตัวหรือเหลือบมองช้อนในขณะที่เราเริ่มตักอาหารจากชาม

แพทย์เด็กแนะนำว่าเราควรเริ่มป้อนอาหารเสริมแก่ทารกเมื่อทารกอายุได้ประมาณ 4-6 เดือน โดยในวัยนี้เด็กทารกเริ่มเรียนรู้ที่จะดูดและกลืนได้แล้ว นอกจากนี้ยังมีพฤติกรรมอื่นๆ อีกที่แสดงว่าทารกพร้อมที่จะรับอาหารเสริม

1) ทารกเริ่มทำเสียงหรือสูดปากซี๊ดด้วยความอยากกินเมื่อเห็นเราเคี้ยวหรือกินอาหาร
2) หลังจากที่ทารกดื่มนมแม่หรือนมผงในปริมาณที่มากแล้ว แต่ยังคงแสดงอาการหิว
3) ในขณะที่คุณพยายามป้อนอาหารเสริมแก่ทารกโดยที่ทารกไม่แสดงอาการใช้ลิ้นดันช้อนออกจากปาก
4) เมื่อไรก็ตามที่คุณเห็นว่าทารกเริ่มขยับขากรรไกรหรือกรามเมื่อคุณป้อนอาหาร แทนที่จะใช้การดูดอาหารเช่นแต่ก่อน
5) เมื่อไรก็ตามที่คอของเด็กแข็งแรง โดยสังเกตได้จากการที่เด็กชันคอตั้งได้เอง

BRA Å VITE:
Barneleger anbefaler at du ammer barnet minst hele det første leveåret og gjerne lenger hvis begge vil det. Fra seks måneders alder bør dere komplettere brystmelken eller morsmelkerstatningen med vanlig mat.

ดีที่รู้ (รู้ไว้ใช่ว่า ใส่บ่าแบกหาม)
แพทย์เด็กแนะนำว่าแม่ควรให้นมลูกอย่างน้อยที่สุดเป็นเวลา 1 ปี หรือพูดให้เข้าใจง่ายๆ ก็คือ เราควรให้นมลูกตลอดระยะช่วงเวลา 1 ปีแรก และจะเป็นการดีมากถ้าแม่สามารถให้นมลูกได้ยาวนานมากกว่า 1 ปี ทั้งนี้ขึ้นอยู่กับความพอใจของทั้งสองฝ่าย

เมื่อทารกอายุได้ 6 เดือน เราสามารถให้อาหารเสริมควบคู่ไปกับการให้นมแม่หรือนมผง

BARNEMAT
En vippestol, babysitter eller barnestol kan brukes som sitteplass ved mating. Du bør sitte foran barnet når det lærer seg å spise, slik at du kan holde skjeen i riktig stilling og ha øyekontakt. Ha flere smekker i nærheten (selv om en del foreldre foretrekker å ta av barnet alt unntatt bleien), for det er en sølete jobb du har foran deg! Begynn gjerne med moste poteter blandet med litt brystmelk eller morsmelkerstatning. To eller tre teskjeer er nok den første gangen.

อาหารเด็ก

เก้าอี้สำหรับเด็ก สามารถนำมาใช้ได้เมื่อไรก็ตามที่เราจะป้อนอาหารเด็ก ในขณะที่คุณจะป้อนอาหารให้แก่เด็ก คุณควรนั่งฝั่งตรงข้ามกับเด็ก ทั้งนี้มันช่วยให้คุณจับช้อนได้สะดวก ถูกต้อง และมันยังช่วยให้คุณและเด็กมีการสบตาหรือง่ายต่อการจ้องตากัน(øyekontakt)
นอกจากนี้ มันป็นการดีที่คุณจะมีผ้ากันเปื้อนหลายๆ ผืนไว้ใกล้ๆ ตัวคุณ (ถึงอย่างไรก็ตาม ยังคงมีผู้ปกครองบางส่วนที่ต้องการให้ลูกใส่แค่ผ้าอ้อม เมื่อพวกเขาจะป้อนอาหารให้ลูก)เพราะว่าการป้อนอาหารทารกหรือเด็กเล็กเป็นงานที่ค่อนข้างจะเลอะเทอะ ทั้งนี้อาจจะเลอะเทอะทั้งผู้ป้อนและทารก ฮะฮะ คุณอาจจะเริ่มต้นด้วยมันฝรั่งบดผสมกับนมแม่หรือนมผงนิดหน่อย 2-3 ช้อนชาก็เพียงพอแล้วสำหรับการเริ่มต้นป้อนอาหารทารกครั้งแรก

Velg et tidspunkt som barnet vanligvis bruker å spise på, og tilby smaksporsjonen etter at barnet har fått litt melk, men fortsatt er sultent nok til å ville ha mer. Noen barn liker smaksporsjonene og spiser alt som tilbys, mens andre spytter ut og gjør seg klare til kamp. Hvis barnet ditt ikke virker interessert, kan det være lurt å vente noen dager før du prøver igjen. Kanskje det helt enkelt er for tidlig. Etter noen dager med moste poteter kan det være på tide å prøve med gulrot. Etter ytterligere noen dager kan du prøve med frukt, f.eks. eple eller pære. Mos maten sammen med den vanlige melken slik at den blir mer tiltalende. Ta det med ro. Én eller to nye smaker i uka er mer enn nok. Det finnes bra bøker om barnemat med oppskrifter og tips, så ta en tur til biblioteket eller bokhandelen.

การป้อนอาหารให้แก่ทารกหรือเด็กเล็ก คุณควรเลือกช่วงเวลาปกติที่ทารกมักจะหิวหรือเวลาที่คุณมักจะให้นมลูกเสมอๆ คุณอาจจะป้อนอาหารโดยกะปริมาณให้เพียงพอกับความต้องการของเด็ก โดยทั้งนี้คุณควรป้อนอาหารเสริมหลังจากที่เด็กได้ดื่มนมไปบ้างแล้ว และเด็กยังคงมีความต้องการอาหารอีก เด็กบางส่วนมีความชื่นชอบในอาหารและกินอาหารที่คุณเตรียมไว้จนเกลี้ยง แต่ในขณะที่เด็กบางคนอาจจะพ่นอาหาร หรือ แสดงอาการต่อต้านเมื่อคุณพยายามที่จะป้อนอาหาร ถ้าลูกของคุณไม่มีความสนใจหรือปฏิเสธอาหาร มันเป็นการฉลาดถ้าคุณจะเว้นระยะไปสัก 3-4 วัน ก่อนที่คุณจะทดลองป้อนอาหารลูกอีกครั้งหนึ่ง ไม่แน่ครั้งนี้อะไรอะไรมันอาจจะดูง่ายขึ้นก็เป็นได้

หลังจากที่ลูกคุณคุ้นเคยกับการกินมันฝรั่งบดพอสมควรแล้ว คุณอาจจะลองเปลี่ยนจากมันฝรั่งเป็นแครอทบ้างก็ได้นะ หลังจากนั้น 3-4วัน คุณอาจจะลองให้ลูกกินผลไม้อื่นๆ บ้าง เช่น แอปเปิ้ล หรือ ลูกแพร์ โดยการปั่นอาหารผสมกับนมแม่หรือนมผง ทั้งนี้จะได้ทั้งสารอาหารและง่ายต่อการดึงดูดลูกของคุณ คุณไม่ต้องเป็นกังวลหรือไปเครียดมากกับการป้อนอาหารลูก ให้ค่อยๆ ทำไปทีละขั้น อย่างค่อยเป็นค่อยไป หนึ่งหรือสองอย่างรสชาติใหม่ๆ ต่อสัปดาห์ก็เพียงพอแล้ว นอกจากนี้ยังมีหนังสือเกี่ยวกับวิธีปรุงอาหารทารกและเด็ก รวมทั้งเคล็ดลับต่างๆ ที่น่าสนใจอีกมากมาย เพียงแค่คุณเข้าไปในร้านขายหนังสือ หรือ ค้นหาได้จากห้องสมุดทั่วไป




Fra: Pampers forbrukerservice tlf: 800 33 432

Oversatt av Tom Yum Koong

Kutt ut MSG!

Dette er Thai suppe med nudler,uten MSG!Hjemmelaget:-)


Det smaket godt!



Jeg synes hjemmelaget er best,for man slipper å tenke at maten kanskje inneholder MSG.


Hei min beste venninne og din vakre datter,

Tusen tusen takk igjen for din varme invitation.Selvfølgelig, vi hadde en kjempefin sammen med dere :-) Håper dere inviterer oss flere ganger hahaha:)

I går etter at vi forlot deg,besøkte jeg min snille Thai venninne.Hun inviterte oss til dinner,og så laget hun en deilig mat for oss.Det var en spesiell mat fra sør i Thailand som jeg ikke vet hvordan den skal lages, fordi jeg kommer fra den sentrale i Thailand, slik at jeg kan lage bare klassisk thai mat :-)

Ikke noe problem, hvis du fremdeles har vondt i ryggen,så du bare sender meg melding og deretter kan vi prøve å lage den deilige suppen en annen dag.Jeg skal også prøve å lage svineribbe på norsk måte,for jeg har allerede prøvd å lage den på Thai måte,men det tok så lang tid å lage,og det var ikke så vellykket.

Vet du i går møtte jeg en Thai venninne som har jobbet på "XXX restaurant" før, men nå er hun barnevakt for niesen til mannen sin,og hun fortalte meg mye virkelige historier om XXX restuarant at de bruker altfor mye MSG når de lager Thai mat slik at jeg ikke vil spise der flere ganger, fordi MSG er veldig farlig for helsa.Det er svært dårlig å bruke det i mat.Jeg synes det blir mye bedre hvis man kan lage mat selv hjemme slik at alt er under kontroll :-).Det er unødvendig å bruke MSG når man skal lage mat.Så lenge maten er ren og frisk,smaker den godt allikevel.

Det er kanskje greit hvis noen vil bruke MSG selv hjemme,men ikke på reatuaranten,for jeg tror at de fleste kundene ønsker å spise mat som blir laget uten MSG.Jeg ønsker meg å finne en god Thai restuarant her i Oslo som tar seriøs hensyn til kundens helse.

Slutt å bruke MSG når du lager mat!

Maten smaker jo deilig når det er friskt og rent.Er du ikke enig med meg?:-)

Vel, jeg har allerede bestilt en svart regnkåpe av Anne,og min størrelse er 36.Hun fortalte meg også at vi ville få tilbuds pris,så det er ganske billig hahaha
Jeg vil ikke ha den hvis jeg må betale full pris,for jeg har jo allerede to regnjakker,men det er kjekt å ha en til når det ikke er så dryt hahaha
Kanskje noen allerede tenker at jeg er så gjerrig,men det er jeg ikke.Jeg synes jeg er fornuftig hahaha

Vel, jeg glemmer å fortelle deg at jeg er opptatt neste onsdag fordi jeg har time hos legen på Ullevål sykehus,så jeg kan ikke besøke Anne neste onsdag,men vi kan utsette den til en annen dag hvis vi kan finne en dag som alle har tid.

Jeg allerede sendte SMS til Anne ,og når jeg får svaret av henne,vil jeg si ifra til deg om når vi kan besøke henne.

Vel,håper dere har det bra.
Kos dere mye!

En kjempestooooooooooooooooooooor klem fra oss:-)

PS:Dere kan lese mer om MSG fra denne linken hvis dere lurer på hva de andre sier om MSG
:http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=23435458112&topic=5050


" No one is too old to learn "= Ingen er for gammel til å lære:-)

Heaven and Hell and no referendums

While on her morning walk, Prime Minister Helen Clarke falls over, has a heart attack and dies because the accident and emergency dept at her nearest hospital is too understaffed to treat her in time.So her soul arrives in Heaven and she is met by Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.

'Welcome to Heaven,' says Saint Peter,

'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem.

We seldom see a Socialist around these parts, so we're not sure what to do with you.'

'No problem, just let me in; I'm a good Christian; I'm a believer' says the PM.

'I'd like to just let you in, but I have orders from God Himself.

He says that since the implementation of His new HEAVEN CHOICES policy, you have to spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven.Then you must choose where you'll live for eternity.'

'But I've already made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven,' replies Clarke.

'I'm sorry .. But we have our rules,' Peter interjects.

And, with that, St. Peter escorts her to an elevator and she goes down, down, down...all the way to Hell.

The doors open and she finds herself in the middle of a lush golf course.

The sun is shining in a cloudless sky.The temperature is a perfect 22 degrees Celsius.In the distance is a beautiful club-house.Standing in front of it is David Lange and thousands of other Socialist Luminaries who had helped her out over the years --- Norm Kirk, Bill Rowling, etc.

The whole of the Labour Party leaders were there

Everyone laughing, happy, and casually but expensively dressed.

They run to greet her, to hug her and to reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at the expense of 'suckers and peasants.'

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar.

The Devil himself comes up to Clarke with a frosty drink,

'Have a Tequila and relax, Helen!'

'Uh, I can't drink anymore, I took a pledge,' says Clarke, dejectedly.

'This is Hell, Helen. You can drink and eat all you want and not worry and it just gets better from there!'

Clarke takes the drink and finds herself liking the Devil,who she thinks is a really very friendly bloke who tells funny jokes like herself and pulls hilarious nasty pranks,kind of like the ones the Labour Party pulled with the Education, Immigration, Tough on Crime Promises.

They are having such a great time that, before she realises it, it's time to go.

Everyone gives her a big hug and waves as Clarke steps on the elevator and heads upward.

When the elevator door reopens, she is in Heaven again and Saint Peter is waiting for her.

'Now it's time to visit Heaven,' the old man says, opening the gate.

So for 24 hours Clarke is made to hang out with a bunch of honest, good- natured people who enjoy each other's company, talk about things other than money and treat each other decently.

Not a nasty prank or short - Arse joke among them.

No fancy country clubs here and, while the food tastes great, it's not caviar or lobster.

And these people are all poor.

She doesn't see anybody she knows and she isn't even treated like someone special!

'Whoa,' she says uncomfortably to herself.

'David Lange never prepared Me for this!'

The day done, Saint Peter returns and says,

'Well,you've spent a day in Hell and a day in Heaven.

Now choose where you want to live for Eternity.'

With the 'Deal or No Deal' theme playing softly in the background, Clarke reflects for a minute ...

Then answers: 'Well, I would never have thought I'd say this -- I mean, Heaven has been delightful and all --but I really think I belong in Hell with my friends.'

So Saint Peter escorts her to the elevator and she goes down, down,down, all the way to Hell.

The doors of the elevator open and she is in the middle of a barren scorched earth covered with garbage and toxic industrial wasteland,

Looking a bit like the eroded, rabbit and fox affected

Australian Outback, but worse and more desolate.

She is horrified to see all of her friends, dressed in rags and chained together, picking up the roadside rubbish and putting it into black plastic bags.

They are groaning and moaning in pain, faces and hands black with grime.

The Devil comes over to Clarke and puts an arm around her shoulder.

" I don't understand,' stammers a shocked Clarke, 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a club-house and we ate lobster and caviar and drank tequila.

We lazed around and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and everybody looks miserable!'

The Devil looks at her, smiles slowly and purrs,

'Yesterday we were campaigning; today you voted for us!

There is a light at the end of the tunnel....:-)

No matter what situations life throws at you...
no matter how long and treacherous your journey may seem...
Remember, there is a light at the end of the tunnel!



You're laughing aren't you?
that's good .......my job here is done!
Have a great day..

Hold My Hand

Here is a short story with a beautiful message...
นี่คื่อเรื่องสั้นที่ส่งพร้อมกับข้อความที่สวยงาม

Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.
มีพ่อลูกคู่นึงกำลังจะข้ามสะพาน

The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter,
คุณพ่อค่อนข้างกลัวเล็กๆ เลยบอกลูกสาวตัวน้อยของเขาว่า

'Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river.'
ลูกรักจ๊ะ จับมือพ่อไว้สิ หนูจะได้ไม่ตกลงไปในแม่น้ำ

The little girl said, 'No, Dad. You hold my hand.'
เด็กน้อยกล่าวว่า "ไม่ค่ะพ่อ พ่อหน่ะแหละจับมือหนู"

'What's the difference?' Asked the puzzled father.
."มันต่างกันยังไงจ๊ะลูก" พ่อถามด้วยความสงสัย

'There's a big difference,' replied the little girl.
"มันต่างกันมากเลยค่ะพ่อ" เด็กน้อยกล่าว

'If I hold your hand and something happens to me,
"ถ้าหนูจับมือพ่อ แล้วมีอะไรเกิดขึ้นกับหนู,
chances are that I may let your hand go.
มันมีโอกาสที่หนูจะปล่อยมือพ่อ

But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens,
แต่ถ้าพ่อจับมือหนู หนูรู้ว่าไม่ว่าอะไรจะเกิดขึ้น
you will never let my hand go.'
พ่อไม่มีวันปล่อยมือหนูแน่นอน"


In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.
ในทุกความสัมพันธ์ สิ่งสำคัญของความเชื่อมั่น ไว้ใจ ไม่ใช่อยู่ที่สาระของมัน แต่เป็นความรู้สึกกับมัน

So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to
hold yours... เพราะฉะนั้น จงจับมือคนที่รักคุณ ดีกว่าที่จะหวังให้เค้าจับมือคุณ

This message is too short......but carries a lot of Feelings.
ข้อความนี้สั้นเกินไป แต่แฝงไว้ด้วยความรู้สึกมากมาย

Apples & Wine

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.......
So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
Share this with other women who are good apples, even those who have already been picked!
And... Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Women Are Like Apples
by James Ebb Huggins, Jr.

Women are like apples - decorating an apple tree.
The sweeter ones are at the top - for all the men to see.
Some of the men fear reaching - for the riper ones at the top,
Fearing they might fall to the ground - with a gigantic flop.
They often search among less sweeter ones - scattered all around,
Hoping to find a compatible mate - laying on the ground.

The apples on the ground - are as happy as can be,
Having all the men - flurrying around for them to see.
The sweeter ones at the top - think that something is wrong,
Not having men strutting about - with a mating song.
So they improvise a way to stand out - to encourage the right one's embraces,
By wearing tight fitting jeans - and painting up their faces.
So when it's apple picking time - and sweet apples are found high and low
Cherish the apple fate has made for you - and by God's Grace may your love glow.

Today's lesson

Daddy's car in the woods?

Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.

Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. 'Mummy, I was at the playground

and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane...'

At this point Mummy cut him off and said, 'Johnny, this is such an interesting story, lets save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight.'

At the dinner table that evening, Mummy asked little Johnny to tell his story Johnny started his story, 'I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mummy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was away on the rigs.'

Mummy fainted!

Moral: Sometimes you need to just shut the f##k up and listen to the whole story before you interrupt!
hahaha:-)

Different ways of looking at things

DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS

(or the uncertainty of the English language)



Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, Did you?

"Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----



A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did my intelligence come from?"

The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----



"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,"

"That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------



A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all."

"Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids".

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----



An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you".

The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----



Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder

1. The DNA all matches.

2. There are no dental records.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----



A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?"

The agent replies, "Just a minute.."

"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----



Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

"How was he killed?" asked one detective.

"With a golf gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun?!

What is a golf gun?" "I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----



Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."

Joe: "Really?"

Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----



A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.

"I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four-letter- word the doctor used in surgery," he answered.

"What did he say," asked the nurse.

"OOPS"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----



While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so sought my husband's advice.

"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"

"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."

He's still in intensive care

Health - Important Tips

Answer the phone by LEFT ear.

Do not drink coffee TWICE a day.

Do not take pills with COLD water.

Do not have HUGE meals after 5 pm.

Reduce the amount of OILY food you consume.

Drink more WATER in the morning, less at night.

Keep your distance from hand phone CHARGERS.

Do not use headphones/earphone for LONG period of time.

Best sleeping time is from 10 pm at night to 6 am in the morning.

Do not lie down immediately after taking medicine before sleeping.

When battery is down to the LAST grid/bar, do not answer the phone as the radiation is 1000 times.